Isn't this the happiest time of year??

The holidays are always stressful until Christmas actually gets here. That's when I can just sit back and relax and enjoy my time with my family.

This year, I don't even know if I'll be able to relax. I don't even know what I'll be doing. Yesterday all was going along as normal... I was organizing Christmas gifts to wrap and singing along to Mariah Carey's Christmas album and then all of a sudden it completely took a turn for the worse.

If you read a previous post about what I was thankful for then you know that I don't have the best relationship with my dad... In fact, I don't really have one at all. But it's not for my lack of trying. There's just something that stands in the way of any kind of relationship I have with him.

Well, yesterday he called a family member because he was in severe pain and he couldn't breath. He was rushed to the hospital and immediately seen in the emergency room. There was no waiting for him because it was apparent that he was in such distress... Turns out he had an aneurism on his aorta and it was moments away from rupturing. They had no room for him so they flew him to a hospital almost two hours away. A large blood supply went with him because if the aneurism ruptured then he would bleed out instantly.
By the time he got to the next hospital the aneurism had done what they were afraid of but he was immediately rushed into surgery to correct what was wrong. The aneurism was already  9cm long so it took much longer than they anticipated. While on the table he went into cardiac arrest and it took them 20 minutes to revive him. Now he is in a medically induced coma and on a respirator for possibly 6 days. He's very sick and they're only giving him a 50/50 chance of surviving this.

If they bring him out of the coma in 6 days... that will be Christmas. I have no idea what's going to happen or what's even expected to happen. I don't know if in 6 days they're bringing him out because he will be better by then or if they're bringing him out of it to see if he'll be better.

I'm a nervous wreck and I'm falling apart. I  feel helpless and I have no clue what I'm going to do...